No Sh!t Allowed in the App Store? Oh Please!
Everyone’s entire iPhone experience is controlled by Apple. Ditto for iPad owners.
Good thing Apple is never mistaken about what a user wants. I am awed by Apple’s ability to know not only what I want to do today, but whatever I might want to do in the future.
Steve Jobs Doesn’t Want Sh!t In His App Store, And Neither Do I
That’s the title of a blog post I saw go by recently. The author is a UI guy, and goes out of his way to praise Apple for their commitment to high-quality UIs, trotting out the old “Mac-like” concept as a precursor for good. To wit:
Steve Jobs wants Apple to be the arbiter of quality in the App Store, denying apps that are ugly, poorly-thought, lame, explicit or featureless. He can’t say that in the Terms and Conditions so instead they’re using carefully-worded language that excludes certain technologies associated with the kinds of apps he doesn’t like. Steve Jobs doesn’t want sh!t in his App Store. If you’re a developer who may be interested in building sh!t, there’s another platform right down the street.
Speaking from the point of view of someone who wants to build beautiful, high-quality apps for the iPhone and iPad: if you’re too lazy to learn how to build iPhone-like iPhone apps using Apple-supplied tools then get the hell out of my App Store, too.*
Isn’t that some mainlined arrogance? The App Store is the lillied preserve of fabulous apps built by maestros of user interface design.
Apps Like iFart.
Really? The App Store is There to Ensure Quality?
Are you going to argue that App Store of 150000+ apps is all about quality? How many fart apps are there again? If the point of the App Store is quality, why are there thirty-seven apps for every use? A billion flashlight apps?
I’ve purchased seven different Twitter apps — isn’t one of them best? (Actually, yes, Twittelator :-)) Why are the others allowed?
I’ve got five Google Reader apps — MobileRSS is the best, so why not throw the others out?
How many weather apps are there again?
If you think Apple’s control of the App Store is about quality, you’re lost in a fog of aluminum unibody construction fumes.
If you think Apple’s control of the App Store is about quality, where is Google Voice?
All told, I’ve downloaded over two hundred apps — I have some experience climbing through the App Store. And let me tell you, it is rife with sh!t. And Apple cares only lightly about the quality of apps. Just look in iTunes.
Lots of Sh!t in iTunes — All For Sale
Apple doesn’t exert any of this control over Movies, music, and TV in iTunes, do they? Nope. As long as they get their cut, you can sell what you want.
- Violent movies? Please buy them!
- NSFW language? We got tons of that!
- Crappy movies? Crappy songs? Crappy TV? We got TONS, and we are happy to sell it to you!
Apple could give a sh!t about offending your taste in iTunes, and in fact, they could give a sh!t in the App Store too. Hell, I haven’t checked, but my Most Hated Movie of all time is probably for sale in iTunes. And that should be a crime.
All this talk about quality, tastefulness, protecting the children, and the sweetness of dancing koala bears is just disingenuous BS.
Apple Exercises Relentless Control of the App Store Because It Wants To.
They don’t do it for any reason that benefits the customer. They do it solely for themselves.
Apple decided they could make more money with this level of control. Period.
That’s ok, and it is their right. When I bought a 3G, and then a 3GS, I understood what I was getting into. Their bat, their ball, their ball field. I get it. That’s part of why I’ll be going Android next year. (A much bigger reason is the fact that the iPhone is such a decrepit phone. I really need my phone to, ah, make calls. The iPhone is the least reliable phone I have ever owned, across Sprint, Verizon, and AT&T, encompassing a bunch of handset manufacturers.)
I could list the myriad of ways Apple’s control stifles the platform, how the iPhone experience has soured me on Macs, how Apple’s horrid, bloated, behemoth iTunes drove me to Amazon for digital downloads, but that is not relevant.
Everyone understands that Apple has complete control of the whole ecosystem. We get it. Don’t dress it up in some rose-colored pursuit of quality. That makes it sound like you think of your users as idiots who need hand-holding. It makes developers feel special, and leads Apple to patronize their users. But it has nothing to do with quality.
That idea, not to put too fine a point on it, is sh!t.
Same with Apple’s new, pathetic mandate that you have to use their tools. Apparently just ignoring the virtual certainty that someone might come up with better ways to build iApps. Apple is not doing this to ensure a higher quality of app; Apple is in it for the money. They want it to be hard to build a single app for both Android and iPhone. Really, is using Xcode going to make your app great? Quoting again:
Using Xcode and Objective-C are not surefire ways to build decent iPhone apps, and using “meta-platforms” and other languages are not surefire ways to build crappy, non-Apple-like iPhone apps. Are they indicators about how much passion someone has for the iPhone platform and building quality iPhone user experiences? In my experience the answer is yes.
Because it is just so easy to measure passion. What’s the unit of measure there?
Apple just wants to make money. Ascribing any other motivation is just stupid.
*The sh!t misspellings are mine, since this is an Apple-related post. Can’t have vulgarity in an Apple-related post — that would violate the App Store guidelines. Or Steve Jobs’ sense of smell. Or something.